{ JHGagle | Blog }

Disclaimer: This is part two in a series covering my journey to where I’m at now. This is more for me than it is for you, but you are welcome to read! Some things have never been passed on before, some things have been shared in limited circulation.

…continued from Part 1.

July(ish) 1987 – Fall 1996

My Mom and Bruce Gagle got married during the summer before I went to kindergarten.  It was the summer of 1987.  I was paid a dollar to stand on said dollar and not move through out the ceremony.  I didn’t really care about the dollar, I was too excited about being the Ring Bear.  That’s right, Bear.  All I got was a silly tuxedo.

I’m still waiting on my bear suit.

Soon after, we moved to Kentucky.  My dad was in seminary at Asbury in Wilmore, KY.  I began kindergarten.  Sometime within the first week, I met a girl.  For some unknown reason I asked to walk her home.  In kindergarten.  Still not sure why I would even think of this at 5 years old, but I did.  I walked her the three blocks to her house only to realize that I was afraid to walk the four blocks the other direction to my house by myself.  My mom had to be called to come get me.  Big man when it came to walking a girl home, but when it really came down to it, I was just a big chicken.

We spent two years (Kindergarten and 1st Grade) there before returning to Florida after my Dad’s graduation.  From 1987 to 1996, we moved 6 times.  By the time I was in 8th grade I had gone through 8 schools.  Ahh, the life of a preacher’s kid.

Wen I was 8, my “Grandaddy Wells” passed away. My Mother’s Father, he had always been there for e and always found ways to make me feel special. I still look back to him a lot of times as a guide of how to treat people. We would wake up and walk the several blocks to the grocery store and get donut holes and milk and sit outside and eat them together before heading back. Yahootie. The Scrapbook. Hermit Crabs. The Trophy. Each one another story I could go on about. Maybe another post.

When I was 9 my sister, Janelle was born.  I was ecstatic. I had experienced the only-child life and was anxious to have a sibling to share it with. In the next few years, I got to welcome two brothers into our family as well. It was awesome. I was old enough to understand and not be jealous and was really able to enjoy watching them grow. More on them in another post.

We finally settled back in Niceville, FL halfway through my 8th grade year.  After living in Niceville, Wilmore, Cottondale, Pensacola, Orange Beach, Jay, and Mobile, we finally settled back in Niceville. I had had my first “real” girlfriend, I had my first kiss, and my first broken heart.

More on that in…another post!

(to be continued…)

Disclaimer: This is part one in a series covering my journey to where I’m at now. This is more for me than it is for you, but you are welcome to read! Some things have never been passed on before, some things have been shared in limited circulation.

Apr 4th, 1982 – July(ish) 1987

I was born on April 4th 1982 to Lynda Elaine Wells and ___. I will not embellish on the blank space there, but I will acknowledge that there is definitely a blank there. Seeing as though this part only covers my first five years, there are limited memories during this time. I lived in Niceville, FL (yes, it IS very nice there, thanks for asking) with my mom and my grandparents, two of the most amazing people I’ve ever known. My uncle Scott lived nearby as well and was around often. My mom and uncle had two siblings, Karen and James, that had died at a young age, one at a month and the other at 1 year I believe. My mom was in college to be an elementary school teacher and drove an hour+ for school. She would leave me little notes and treat bags every day with baseball/football cards and other little treats. I spent my mornings with my grandparents. My grandfather was the most caring, loving man I’ve ever met. More on him in part 2. As I said, my Uncle Scott was around too. He was a “tough guy”. A biker. Long hair, leather, Harley, the whole package. I don’t remember ever hearing a harsh word from him. Looking back, I’m sure they were there, but all I remember was this man who seemed to model himself after my grandfather.

I do have several memories from this time period. I remember “tagging-along” on several dates with my mom and going to an “authentic” Chinese restaurant where we sat on the floor to eat. I remember going to visit some balding, curly-haired guy at this place where they made things out of clay. I can still remember the exact building it was in. I remember going to preschool at then OWJC (has gone through three conversions since then) and eating green eggs and ham with Mrs. Haight. I actually remember trying to escape my crib and my mom hearing me and calling my name. I froze with one leg half over the rail hoping she would forget and I could continue. She didn’t. I remember breakdancing to “Dancing on the Ceiling” and most importantly, I remember playing ping pong against the champion of Bonifay, FL.

Little did I know, this pong wizard’s name was Bruce Gagle…

(to be continued…)

Testimony. If you’ve grown up in the church this word typically did one of two things. You were either 1: Excited about the prospect of telling how God had yanked you from the grips of sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll to lead a life of love, happiness, and soccer-mom-minivans. Or you were 2: Terrified by the prospect of actually getting up and talking to a bunch of people waiting to be inspired by how amazing God has been to you only to let them down because the worst thing you’ve ever done was have your first kiss playing truth-or-dare at the church lock-in.

I was in the second group.

Earlier this week Tam posted part of her story here, and here, and also here. I strongly suggest you go read it. When you’re done crying, weeping, and recomitting your life to God, come on back. I can wait.

Now, THAT is a testimony. I can honestly say I have NEVER given my testimony. Not my real one at least. I was asked once to give a testimony in high school. I was to go second after a girl that I went to school with had given hers. She told her story about abuse when she was a little girl and how she had resorted to sex and drugs through high school but God had turned her around. How was I supposed to follow that with, “Hi! My name is Jonathan, and my life’s been pretty muck OK. Thank you for listening.”? Nuh, uhh! Not gonna happen! So I winged it. I told how I was raised in a Christian home but had tested the waters and gotten mixed up in a bunch of things I shouldn’t have. You know, an inspiring story and all, but nothing specific that could be verified. I’m sure I fooled everyone in the room that day.

Why was I so ashamed of being a good kid who had an OK life? I aspired to be a youth leader someday (and still do) and knew that the best way to relate to your kids that need relating to, is to have a dirty past. How can you help a child in an abusive situation and let him know, “I know how you feel” when you grew up in a loving home with both parents who loved and bent over backwards to care for you. How do you take a kid, addicted to drugs and sex, has been robbed of their childhood, look them in the eyes and tell them, “Everything’s going to be OK!” when you smelled a cigarette once outside a K-Mart. You can’t.

I’ve grown up since then and now know people, friends and family, who have been through abuse and addiction. People who have been raped, homeless, jobless, hopeless. I look back know and realize how awesome my life really was. I now know the pain I was sheilded from and am thankful I never had to feel it directly. I see where I was protected from the evils of the world and why. I’m so thankful to my family and to God that I was given the life I was to not have to feel the pain others have felt and THAT is my testimony, and I’m OK with that.

Lord I thank you for today and everyday you have given me. Thank you for protecting me from the life I deserve even when I tried so hard to “provide for myself”. So many times I tried to turn away just to have a testimony. You would have none of it. You held me close and showed me that you are my testimony. For that, I thank you.

What kind of testimony do you have? Were you sheltered or given free-reign? How did that affect your life outside of the home? Let me know in the comments! Already have a post with your testimony up somewhere? Leave a link for others to check out!

JG

I’ve come to realize that many of my followers and readers may not know me very well. Hopefully this post will allow you to get to know me a little better and see what makes me tick. There are several people that I talk to quite frequently that I would really like to get to know better and I figure that if I put myself out there, it will open some doors. I went to twitter for some questions. Thanks to @lsgagle, @coffeechicka, @inprogress and @sPARKLYsARAH for the questions. Without further ado, here goes….

1. What’s in the glass in your avatar? (This is referring to my avatar on twitter, seen here)

- That would be a cold refreshing glass of Shock Top. A belgian white wheat beer with a spicy citrusy bite to it. Definitely not my favorite, but it’s pretty good.

2. If you could change one thing in your life, what would that be.

- I try to live with no regrets. I believe that every experience in life makes you who you are and who you become. Any one change in the past could change everything in the future. You know, the whole butterfly effect thing. Now, that’s not to say that there aren’t things I wish I’d never done. Things that deeply hurt people close to me. Who’s to say if I hadn’t done something stupid at one time, that something even worse might have happened. I’m happy where my life is and where it’s going and I wouldn’t want to change it.

3. What’s your biggest fear?

- My biggest fear is that when I die, the bad memories of me will out-weigh the good. I understand that I won’t be the perfect father, husband or person. I do hope that I can at least provide enough good memories with my kids so that they don’t look back and remember when I wasn’t there. Or my wife won’t remember that mean thing I said. Or that any single person that knows me, remembers a good person.

4. When was the last time you wet your pants?

- ::sigh:: In 5th grade. I know that’s a little old to be wetting your pants, but let me explain. I needed to go. Bad. I realize the teacher said we weren’t allowed to go, but that just made me need to go more. We weren’t doing a test or anything, she just hated me!

Well, I expressed my extreme need for urinary evacuation which came with a stern rejection. After reaching the “point of no return” I had to let go. Now, I had to get up and explain to her why I still needed to leave the class, but to go to the office now. She assumed the best form of corrective action was to call me out in front of the class to let everyone know what had just happened.

By the time the ordeal was done, not only had I wet my pants in class, it was drawn to their attention and I ended up bawling right there in embarrassment.
…true story

5. What’s your most embarrassing moment?

- Umm, did you READ number 4?!

6. What did you want to be growing up?

- I went through many phases. My longest one was to be a professional baseball player. I was a HUGE fan since I could sit up and was able to quote the Braves lineup by position, batting order and uniform number when I was 3. I played baseball from the time I was 6 until I was in highschool and then I lost it. I was a great player with a solid bat and a good arm and could catch anything that came remotely close to first base. Unfortunately one of my coaches sons’ also played 1st base. He was given that position by default because he was fat, slow and couldn’t throw. Oh, and he was the coaches son. I quit and unfortunately that was the end of baseball for me.

7. What’s you’re most memorable moment?

- My Grandaddy Wells. Pretty much any memory of him. He died when I was 9 and I’m the only one of my siblings that knew him. I remember we had a game where I would run and jump on his belly full force. Over and over again. He never once got onto me or complained. We used to wake up early in the morning, walk the 4 blocks to the grocery store and get donut holes and milk and sit outside of the store and eat them together. If I can be half the man he was, I would be happy. He was a great man. I miss him.

8. Are you the kind of grown up you wanted to be?

- No, not 100%. I’m getting there though. There are things that have developed in me personality wise and things I have done and do that I don’t like and am working to change. There have been drastic changes made within the last year and hopefully I can grow and develop into the grown up I want to be.

9. What’s something that gets on your nerves?

- Sporks, oh and rutabegas.

10. Fair-weather friend or friend for life?

- Friend for life. I like getting know my friend’s personal lives and getting close. Sticking through hard times. The ups and downs. I like knowing I have friends that are there for me and I like having friends that feel they can come to me if they need anything.

11. A random memory from highschool?

- Hmm, in 10th grade I had “acquired” enough money from around the house and parents hiding spots to buy an expensive box of cards for a game similar to Magic: The Gathering. I told my mom I had won it in a contest. We’re talking like $200 worth of cards! Well, eventually the jig was up and I got in major trouble as can be expected. The cards were taken away and hid. I found them and once again took my cards. This time to school. Where they were stolen from my locker. I guess you get what you deserve, right?

12. Your most rebellious moment?

- I never rebelled much in high school other than the whole stealing money from my parents thing (that only lasted a few months though). I was the opposite of a social butterfly. I knew alot of people in alot of different cliques, yet I didn’t belong to any of them. I was a good kid. My dad was a preacher. I was in the band. I was a smart kid and I never really rebelled.

Sorry to dissapoint you

Ok, so this post was WAY longer than I expected. Hopefully you got the answers you wanted. If you have any questions or responses, leave them in the comments!

Jonathan