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I’ve been reading/listening Francis Chan’s Crazy Love recently. If you haven’t read it, I strongly suggest it.  It’s an amazing book about God’s unconditional, self-sacrificing love for us and how we take advantage of it on a daily basis.  I was listening on the way to work this morning and something he said really stuck with me. He was talking about these verses from 1 Corinthians and how to apply them daily to our lives as a measuring stick.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It is not rude, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6

He said to apply this verse daily to your own life.

Jonathan is patient, Jonathan is kind. Jonathan does not envy, Jonathan does not boast, Jonathan is not proud. Jonathan is not rude, Jonathan is not self‑seeking, Jonathan is not easily angered, Jonathan keeps no record of wrongs. Jonathan does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

By the end of that, I felt like a complete liar.  I could only HOPE to make it through a day without breaking every single one of those at least once.  Losing my patience with the kids.  Thinking unkind thoughts about someone I see on the street.  I try not to be boastful and proud, but it happens anyway.  I could go on.  The point is, if “the greatest of these is love” and THIS is how we measure up, doesn’t something need to change?  I think so.

Lord, please forgive me for falling short every day.  Please help me to embody your definition of love each and every day with my words and actions.  Without surrenduring to your help, I am destined to fail.  Only with you can I succeed.  Amen.

JG

Testimony. If you’ve grown up in the church this word typically did one of two things. You were either 1: Excited about the prospect of telling how God had yanked you from the grips of sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll to lead a life of love, happiness, and soccer-mom-minivans. Or you were 2: Terrified by the prospect of actually getting up and talking to a bunch of people waiting to be inspired by how amazing God has been to you only to let them down because the worst thing you’ve ever done was have your first kiss playing truth-or-dare at the church lock-in.

I was in the second group.

Earlier this week Tam posted part of her story here, and here, and also here. I strongly suggest you go read it. When you’re done crying, weeping, and recomitting your life to God, come on back. I can wait.

Now, THAT is a testimony. I can honestly say I have NEVER given my testimony. Not my real one at least. I was asked once to give a testimony in high school. I was to go second after a girl that I went to school with had given hers. She told her story about abuse when she was a little girl and how she had resorted to sex and drugs through high school but God had turned her around. How was I supposed to follow that with, “Hi! My name is Jonathan, and my life’s been pretty muck OK. Thank you for listening.”? Nuh, uhh! Not gonna happen! So I winged it. I told how I was raised in a Christian home but had tested the waters and gotten mixed up in a bunch of things I shouldn’t have. You know, an inspiring story and all, but nothing specific that could be verified. I’m sure I fooled everyone in the room that day.

Why was I so ashamed of being a good kid who had an OK life? I aspired to be a youth leader someday (and still do) and knew that the best way to relate to your kids that need relating to, is to have a dirty past. How can you help a child in an abusive situation and let him know, “I know how you feel” when you grew up in a loving home with both parents who loved and bent over backwards to care for you. How do you take a kid, addicted to drugs and sex, has been robbed of their childhood, look them in the eyes and tell them, “Everything’s going to be OK!” when you smelled a cigarette once outside a K-Mart. You can’t.

I’ve grown up since then and now know people, friends and family, who have been through abuse and addiction. People who have been raped, homeless, jobless, hopeless. I look back know and realize how awesome my life really was. I now know the pain I was sheilded from and am thankful I never had to feel it directly. I see where I was protected from the evils of the world and why. I’m so thankful to my family and to God that I was given the life I was to not have to feel the pain others have felt and THAT is my testimony, and I’m OK with that.

Lord I thank you for today and everyday you have given me. Thank you for protecting me from the life I deserve even when I tried so hard to “provide for myself”. So many times I tried to turn away just to have a testimony. You would have none of it. You held me close and showed me that you are my testimony. For that, I thank you.

What kind of testimony do you have? Were you sheltered or given free-reign? How did that affect your life outside of the home? Let me know in the comments! Already have a post with your testimony up somewhere? Leave a link for others to check out!

JG

all photos by Promise Tangeman

For those not in the know, you can go here for the full story.  If you have been keeping up with what’s going on, here’s the latest update.

Well, we spoke with Kate’s neurosurgeon today and looked at her scans. Let’s just say we had to take some time alone afterwards, without Kate seeing us cry. It felt debilitating. A large concern continues to be the location of the tumor, it is very dangerous. The arteries supplying blood to the left half of her brain are entangled in the tumor. Another large concern is the tumor is spread down into the hypothalmus. (this is not a new thing) This would be completely untreatable by surgery. And finally they have a rating system to see how malignant and aggressive (how many cancer cells quickly reproduce) the tumor is. Kate’s number was extremely high. Depressingly so. I sobbed for about a good hour, and Aaron a good portion of that. Kate’s only option right now is chemo, which we will be starting tomorrow. The one thing with a highly aggressive brain tumor is that we have to get every single cell. One cell left could reproduce. We are clinging tightly to God right now. Knowing nothing is too hard, nothing too big. So we continue to pray incessantly that He would heal Kate, every last cell, her right arm, her right foot, her speech, everything that the tumor has taken. We are praying that God would redeem every single thing. Please continue to pray with us. Thankfully our emotions don’t dictate the ability of God. We still trust that God is in control, no matter how desperate our emotions feel.

Please pray for Kate’s protection tomorrow as she starts chemo. Protection from all of the damaging side effects. Protection for her fragile spirit. Protection from any outside infections. Thank you for helping to shoulder this enormous burden.

It breaks my heart to read about this little girl.  Just 4 weeks ago she was your everyday little 5 year old girl.  Not a care in the world.  Having children and especially a little “daddy’s girl” myself, I could not imagine how heartbreaking this must be for Aaron and Holly, her parents, and Olivia and Will, her brother and sister.  Please take 10-15 minutes to go to their site, linked above and just read about and pray over this little girl and her family.  Whatever you have going on, I’m sure it can wait.  Just stop, take a few minutes, and pray.  When you’re finished, call your friends and families, your church or small group, add her to your prayer chains, circles, anyone.  Let’s get everyone interceding for Kate.  Let’s get God’s attention!

Lord, I I pray for your protection and healing over this beautiful little girl Kate.  Lord, only you know what’s going through her head.  Please confort her and put her at peace during this healing process.  Lord, put a hedge around her physically, mentally and spiritually.  We pray that your perform a miraculous healing as only you can do.  As she begins the chemo process, please protect her from the side effects of the treatments.  Lord please hold her family in your hands, give them strength and energy to persevere through this trying time and  I pray that they keep their eyes focused firmly on you.  In your name, Lord.  Amen.