Testimony…
Testimony. If you’ve grown up in the church this word typically did one of two things. You were either 1: Excited about the prospect of telling how God had yanked you from the grips of sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll to lead a life of love, happiness, and soccer-mom-minivans. Or you were 2: Terrified by the prospect of actually getting up and talking to a bunch of people waiting to be inspired by how amazing God has been to you only to let them down because the worst thing you’ve ever done was have your first kiss playing truth-or-dare at the church lock-in.
I was in the second group.
Earlier this week Tam posted part of her story here, and here, and also here. I strongly suggest you go read it. When you’re done crying, weeping, and recomitting your life to God, come on back. I can wait.
Now, THAT is a testimony. I can honestly say I have NEVER given my testimony. Not my real one at least. I was asked once to give a testimony in high school. I was to go second after a girl that I went to school with had given hers. She told her story about abuse when she was a little girl and how she had resorted to sex and drugs through high school but God had turned her around. How was I supposed to follow that with, “Hi! My name is Jonathan, and my life’s been pretty muck OK. Thank you for listening.”? Nuh, uhh! Not gonna happen! So I winged it. I told how I was raised in a Christian home but had tested the waters and gotten mixed up in a bunch of things I shouldn’t have. You know, an inspiring story and all, but nothing specific that could be verified. I’m sure I fooled everyone in the room that day.
Why was I so ashamed of being a good kid who had an OK life? I aspired to be a youth leader someday (and still do) and knew that the best way to relate to your kids that need relating to, is to have a dirty past. How can you help a child in an abusive situation and let him know, “I know how you feel” when you grew up in a loving home with both parents who loved and bent over backwards to care for you. How do you take a kid, addicted to drugs and sex, has been robbed of their childhood, look them in the eyes and tell them, “Everything’s going to be OK!” when you smelled a cigarette once outside a K-Mart. You can’t.
I’ve grown up since then and now know people, friends and family, who have been through abuse and addiction. People who have been raped, homeless, jobless, hopeless. I look back know and realize how awesome my life really was. I now know the pain I was sheilded from and am thankful I never had to feel it directly. I see where I was protected from the evils of the world and why. I’m so thankful to my family and to God that I was given the life I was to not have to feel the pain others have felt and THAT is my testimony, and I’m OK with that.
Lord I thank you for today and everyday you have given me. Thank you for protecting me from the life I deserve even when I tried so hard to “provide for myself”. So many times I tried to turn away just to have a testimony. You would have none of it. You held me close and showed me that you are my testimony. For that, I thank you.
What kind of testimony do you have? Were you sheltered or given free-reign? How did that affect your life outside of the home? Let me know in the comments! Already have a post with your testimony up somewhere? Leave a link for others to check out!
JG
I was pretty much in the same boat as you. The worst things I ever did was leave the boarding school grounds without permission.
Never ashamed of my testimony, just thought it was a bit boring, but I've since come to treasure the good soil I grew up in, the legacy of generations of prayer. This is what God wants for His children … not for them to have to be rescued from the deepest depths. Though often it's those who've had an easy life who are most apathetic to His love of course.
And Jesus never did any of the horrendous things people get caught in, yet He is our role model for helping them be free. We may not be able to empathise, but the fact is, even if we have gone through the same thing, we all feel it differently anyway. That's what I love about testimony – each one is unique.
i remember when brent and i were first married and i began really opening up about my life, in its entirety, and he said…"I wish i had a testimony". i looked at him and said, "YOU DO!" a testimony is a life that brings you to where you are now. the middle factor. "not" having a "testimony" (as the world defines it) IS a testimony! so my question to people who say they dont have one is…what has kept you from fallin in to the pit of having to tell a story like mine? cuz THAT is quite a testimony right there!
so rock on!
I recorded my testimony when we first got to Germany. I had just given it at a men's group meeting, but was irritated that I was told to keep it under 5 minutes. I could give directions 5 feet down the street and take longer than that…..Yeah, I like to chat
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So, I recorded it and was ashamed of it's great length for awhile and tucked it away. But the more I listen to it, it touches on just about all of my "defining" points…..and there have been many.
I didn't grow up in a church…..went to VBS and Sunday school during the summers at Grandma's house, but I was 25 years old before I went for a reason other than cuz I was listening to someone tell me to go.
At any rate, here it is….Some day I will re-record as things are sure to change, but for now, it is what it is……LIFE….before, during and after Christ entered my life. http://www.vimeo.com/1883975
I LOVE to hear any "testimony" of a willing giver because just as Tam said, THAT is what brought you to where, what, who, and WHO's you are today. Good, bad, or ugly … nobody can disagree or argue with your personal life story.
One important factor to remember though is that you (we all) are touching people's lives, one way or another, upon every contact. Your influence may be indifferent or unmemorable, positive, or negative. Our responsibility as Christians is to STRIVE to be a positive influence and to share a living testimony of hope and joy in all we do or say, regardless of where "you came from." Whether you were abused or grew up in a nurturing and loving home, whether you abused alcohol and/or drugs or led a "clean" past, you still have THE CONSISTENT GOOD NEWS OF HOPE, LOVE, FORGIVENESS, AND JOY IN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. The stories of the past are different, but the offer for the future is the same for everone!
Let me tell you Jonathan, your living testimony is SO much bigger than you will EVER realize (I'm sure for each of you)!!!! One story I can share is your 2 week mission trip to Costa Rica. The work you provided, the smile, hugs, love, and piggy back rides you shared, and the clothing, Bibles, toys, and bandanas you freely gave were blessed by God 100-fold I'm sure. But what you did NOT realize was that someone shared with me later, how you ministered to another youth traveling with your group on that trip. A youth that had become withdrawn and isolated before the trip, arrived in Costa Rica a changed person … before the "mission" even began thanks to your gentleness and willingness to allow God to use you. Don't ever underestimate your ability to share your testimony!!!! Just keep sharing! God bless you ALL! Mom